Changing the Story You Tell Yourself

We all carry a story—one that often begins long before we recognize it’s there.

It’s the voice inside that whispers (or shouts) when things go wrong. The voice that says: “You should’ve known better.” “You’re not doing enough.” “You don’t have what it takes.”

It’s the internal narrative shaped by past experiences, cultural expectations, family dynamics, and societal pressure; especially for women, for mothers, for caregivers, for those constantly holding it all together. The truth is, that story doesn’t always serve us.

Why Our Internal Narratives Matter

Your internal narrative is the lens through which you interpret the world and yourself. It impacts your confidence, your boundaries, your relationships, your emotional well-being, and even your career decisions.

When your narrative is rooted in fear, perfectionism, guilt, or self-doubt, it holds you back from living in alignment with who you truly are and what you truly need. The empowering truth is, you can rewrite it.

Signs You Might Be Living by an Old or Harmful Narrative

• You downplay your accomplishments or wait for someone else to validate them.

• You feel guilty anytime you say no or put yourself first.

• You fear making mistakes or feel like you’re not “allowed” to fail.

• You measure your worth by your productivity or how well you take care of others.

• You silence your needs, believing they’re less important than everyone else’s.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone and you’re not broken. You’ve been conditioned. But conditioning can be unlearned, and stories can be rewritten.

How to Start Rewriting Your Narrative

1. Notice the voice and pay attention to your self-talk. What do you tell yourself when you make a mistake? When you rest? When you fall short? Awareness is the first step.

2. Challenge the story and ask yourself: “Is this actually true?” Would I say this to a friend? Where did this belief come from and is it helping or hurting me?

3. Create a new script by replacing the old narrative with one rooted in compassion, truth, and possibility. Instead of “I’m failing,” try: “I’m learning and growing through this.” Instead of “I can’t rest until it’s all done,” try: “Rest helps me sustain what I care about.”

4. Anchor in affirmations  because affirmations aren’t just feel-good phrases, they’re intentional rewrites of old beliefs. Say them aloud. Write them down. Speak them until they feel real. For example, "I am enough, even when I’m not doing it all."  "I am allowed to rest and still be worthy."  "I am rewriting my story, one truth at a time."

5. Surround yourself with new voices because healing happens in community. Surround yourself with people, spaces, and messages that uplift your truth, not reinforce old wounds.

You Are the Author Now

You may not have written the first chapters of your internal story, but you get to write the rest.

You get to choose a narrative rooted in grace, truth, and self-compassion.

You get to believe that you are worthy not because you do it all but because you are human and whole.

So the next time that old voice creeps in, pause, breathe, and remind yourself: This story is mine, and I’m rewriting it.